My date, and that still sounded odd to me, had arrived a few minutes late, dressed very demurely in a simple black skirt and white blouse. We talked initially about the previous week and all its oddities, often repeating, almost exactly, parts of our Saturday's conversation. As we relaxed, something helped by our attentive hosts, we discussed common acquaintances, which were exclusively work colleagues, before eventually talking about each other, our fears and desires. Looking back I also wonder at Olivia, she had either incredible hearing or impeccable timing, as she never seemed to arrive at an inopportune moment.A major desire of my own was exposed during that evening's conversation. As I had not been interested in women since my wife's death, I had given little thought to what I wanted out of any future relationship; it, therefore, took a while for me to explain what I wanted and needed to myself, let alone to Teresa.I had been loved by a woman that I loved. It sounds so simple. It took several minutes for me to feel rested again. Along the nearby road the cyclers and joggers passed me. I gazed at the sky. It was clear beyond the limbs of the surrounding trees. Blue. I recalled the day, long ago, when I was a toddler, when I lay that way on the side of a small hill near the Big Buildings in the Lauderdale Courts, looking up at that sky and thinking that the world was an open, unlimited space, waiting for me, beckoning, promising. I remembered telling myself, then, that I would do anything, face any task to see it all, do it all. I hadn't figured on weak ankles and short wind. And the cigarettes. Why the hell didn't I just quit?I told myself: Get up, you sorry piss ant, and get to Fiore's class.It was too late for breakfast. I broke the rules again and bought a coffee at a deli on 86th Street, gulping it as I walked. I began to understand something about the New Yorkers I saw everywhere as I trudged under my own weight back to Martha's.When I hurried into the.
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